Killing of the Flesh

Well I can't believe I really did it...Started a blog.... A blog not only to write away the pain that comes with killing your flesh put to help those that may be going through the same issues as myself.


A little about me: I'm 23 years old and I'm a single mother, I've been saved since I was about 13 years old but been in church forever it seems like....I love God but its hard to turn away from our comfort zone.....God is my life he has brought me out of so much in my life that if it was not for me I would not be here in the mind set that I'm in now. Sounds so scripted but so true........Had my son at 16 thinking that it would bring me closer with his dad when all it did was pushed us further apart....Loving someone so much because you never knew what it felt like to be love by your own parents....Raised my grandparents because my parents loved drugs and the streets more then they love my brother and I.. So from the time I could remember I was looking for that Acceptance factor....Well let me tell you that's the hardest thing you can ever do because i adapted to whatever the situation was so that they would not think i was weird. I wanted some one to validate that I was beautiful and they needed me but what I got was a lot of sex partners and their spirits connected to me. Living with my on worries then i added other worries on to me....the person that i was or i thought i was...was gone i couldn't find her because it was buried with other on me.....So my head kept talking and i could understand what was what anymore so i started drinking and smoked so that i couldn't hear them anymore and When that started I had more partners....Sidebar I don't know who they were anymore remember their faces but that's it names couldn't tell you.....LOST and DARK was all i could see.....feeling that I was a failure as a mother and a child of GOD....GOD was clean and I'm dirty was all I could think of he doesn't like Dirt....So I couldn't come to him in my condition....my my my as I smh.....If that isn't the biggest misconception of GOD........God is the cleaner and his son Jesus washes us clean when he died on Calvary....Why can't us Christians get that but instead we tend to try to fix it and we add more scares on top of the ones that were already their instead of letting GOD heal us...I honestly believe that we make God's work harder because of our own self will that He gave to us...that dag on self will!!LOL

Needles to say its a working process because my spirit is still fighting with flesh and the flesh is a stubborn thing...it doesn't like not to be in control.

So I say this before I check out a Prayer:

Dear God, my father, my friend,my lover, my everything I come to you not for my own needs but for those that feel as if they are to dirty or unclean to come to you and asked that you can have mercy on them and that you can stop them in whatever they may be doing and speak to their heart Lord
Asked that you can provide them with what they are looking for and that you can fill them up with your love so that they may know who You are and love on you and so that they may be used for Your work O Lord....Your kindness and mercy shall never go unnoticed and for that I know that its all ready done in Your name....I bless you for who you are and for what you have shown me in my life and through my eyes.....I thank you for never giving up on me My Lord and for never letting me Go.....Thank you for all the positive people you placed in my life to help me through this thing I like to call Life......this world is no longer fit for me but with you in my corner you make it easier to walk in and Live in..,.,,.,I hope that i can bring someone to you before I leave this earth that my life can be an example of how your son lived on this earth Lord.....Fix anything and everything around me that is not saying and Screaming I love the LORD......My father...My heart cries out for Peace in the land....those that don't have it Lord I asked that you blow your breath on the land so that those that forgot may believe again and remember your promise for them in their life..... so many thanks that i would like to say but just not enough time but I must say that with out my pastor and rev Nikki, and Michelle who adopted me when my Grandmother passed I would not be here and I asked that you cover them and give them more then what they already asked you for.......Love you so much in Jesus' name AMEN!!!!!